TRADITIONS

Well, I'm not ready for the Holidays yet. I have started "lists" for food and Christmas gifts, but haven't actually done anything with them yet. On Facebook everyday someone, or several someones' list what they are thankful for on a day by day basis; I am very thankful for many things but don't post it on FB. That somehow declares that I am ready for Thanksgiving to be here...I'm not. I haven't been able to put my finger on why, until yesterday. Every year I plan, and cook, and KNOW what is going on and where. Who's going to be here, and who won't commit until a few days before. I have been married for almost 38 yrs, and Thanksgiving Day festivities have been shared between my Mom, my sister in law, and myself. Mom is in an Alzheimer's unit this year and for some reason, that throws off all my usual comfort zones. Somehow family traditions are not what they used to be. Life changes, children move on, marry, have children, start their own traditions. I believe this is why I'm just not ready for the Holiday Season this year. Everything seems out of place, a little off kilter. I have no sense of what is going to happen, where it will happen, and who will be there. I now understand why my Grandmother said, "tell me where to be, and I'll be there", when asked about a long ago Christmas dinner. Everyone had made their own plans, were making their own meals, and no longer needed Grandma to orchestrate the entire thing. Maybe I should be celebrating a new family tradition where I don't have to cook everything, or serve everyone, and then clean it all up...maybe I should just rest in the fact that I don't need to be everywhere at once...maybe I should. But unlike my Grandmother, who was tickled that she no longer had to do all the Holiday preparations, I feel like I'm missing something. Maybe it takes a couple of years to accept this new tradition...maybe I should just relax and enjoy. I wonder what the DILs will be making this year for Thanksgiving dinner? Hmmmmmm, this might not be as hard as I thought. Let me know girls, where to be, and when.